Yoga

Not much has been happening over the last few days. My brother in law has gone back to Karachi. I was hoping that he wouldn't get a seat and have to stay with us longer. Apart from that the only change has been in my breathing. I noticed that I was breathing more and more shallow, which is a problem in case I get a chest infection. So I started my yoga breathing exercises. They were much harder to complete that before.

My breathing hasn't improved with the exercises. In fact my chest seems to be getting tighter and tighter. I hope I'm not getting a chest infection.

Going to hand in some Motability forms at the VW showroom today so that I can get my car next week Also going to do a little shopping.

Shot some pool and ate too much

Went to a friends house last night. Met up with some cool friends who cooked dinner (pizza and chips) and then took me to play some pool. To be honest I didn't play very well. I was still tired from eating dinner. It was good to see them, even if I was a little tired and therefore not very good company.

I visited the hospital today and the dietition said that I was doing well by not losing any weight. I have to say that I'm working quite hard to keep my weight up. On the plus side I didn't have to hold my stomach in when playing pool! Also had a dry run of how the radiation treatment will take place. The machine looks like something out of Star Trek. The staff were friendly and put me at ease.

Alyssa is getting a bit much for me to handle now. She has such a short attention span and always wanting to run around. I don't have the energy to chase her anymore. I do not feel good about not being able to play with her like I used to. I suppose it is only temporary and soon things will be back to normal.

My mum is coming to look after me tomorrow and I'm looking forward to all the food she is bringing. It should all help in keeping the weight on. I wish that I could tolerate the food supplements the dietition has given me, but they all still make me sick.

I managed to over eat at lunch today and feeling the worse for it. Lots of stomach craps and I've decided to stay in bed until I feel a little better. Found some ginger biscuits with 80 calories each! They really do help with the nausea.

Weight : 10 stone
sickness : 4/10

It's not what you think!

I'm wearing....crotchless net knickers..but its not what you think! The nurses had to find a way to stop my t-shirt rubbing aginst my stomach wound. Turns out that the cut the crotch off some net knickers and I use them like an elastic bandage around my waist. They then put some dressing held in place by the knickers....okay, you can stop laughing now!

I won't be getting my new car for a further 7 days. But I can't wait. I'll positively look forward to driving to London every day for 5 weeks. Had some further news on the Chemo front. Turns out I might have had stomach cancer and not asophogeal cancer. That is good news as the survival rates are much better. On the down side it means that I'm going to have to have chemo for 12 weeks! I'm already feeling a little tired after 1 week of chemo, I wonder how I'll be in 11 weeks time.

Going to Mark and Haroon's place tonight. Looking forward to playing some pool. I hope I have the energy to kick ass. A lot of people have been asking whether I can meet up, or whether they can visit. I think at the moment the best thing to do is ring the day before. The reason being is that I'm constantly going to hospital for unexpected last minute meetings.

My hair has started to grow back, and a little thicker too. I quite liked having no hair, as everyone assumes you're a trouble maker and they tend to agree with everything I say. Shame I'm not getting the chemo drug that makes it all fall out.

My brother in law is leaving this Friday. I wish he could have stayed longer. It was good having him about.

Weight : 10stone 1lbs...at last I'm putting some back on!
Sickness : 2/10 0 threw up a couple of times when I'd over eaten. A carton of Ribena knocked me for 6, I ended up sleepong for 3 hours because of it!

Guess where I went today

No, nothing exciting. Went to the hospital yet again. I seem to be there most days during the week. This time they wanted to test my kidneys before I start my next treatment. Apparently the radiotheraphy can affect my kidneys. I was told over the phone that the tests will take 3 hours. What they didn't tell me was that they were going to injectment is a radioactive isotope at 11am, and then I wasn't needed for a further 3 hours!

Luckily my brother-in-law was with me, so I showed him around Borough Market. He loved it. It reminded me of when I used to work near the market and organise 'office picknics'. Everyone would chip in £5 and we'd go and buy lots of fresh bread, olives, fruits and spreads. Then we would book a meeting room and pig out.

Once I'd finished at the market my brother visited a friend for lunch. So I called a couple of old friends up who worked near London Bridge. Convinced them to go to a local greasy spoon. I managed to eat half a portion of chips and an egg yolk, not bad. It was good to see my old friends again. Thanks for making lunch at such short notice.

Finally I went back to the hospital for an hour of tests under a scanner. Kidneys look in good shape although they said they need to do further analysis. Whilst waiting for the scan, my brother decided to side on a chair that weighs him at the same time. I went over the read his weight when an alarm goes off. We thought he broke the chair. Turns out that the chair was next to a giger and I was setting the alarm off because of my injection! The doctor said I was not allowed to hug my daughter for 24hrs because of the radiation :(

Eating : toast with jam, chips and egg, large packet of crisps, 2 mini samosas, 2 ice cream lollies and probably more after writing this blog.
Sickness : 1/10

National Disabled Toilet Key

Yep, found out another perk being disabled. Apparently most major stores use a single type of key to lock their disabled toilets. It is all run by a company called Radar and you can buy a key from the website http://radar-shop.org.uk/Detail.aspx?id=0, for £3.50. I'm not sure of the true benifit since most people that use disabled toilets tend to the have difficulty aiming.

Got a call from the hospital stating that the CT scan they had done last week was not complete. They forgot to take images of my kidneys. So I trundled back to London to get another scan. Whilst there I stupidly popped in to the Chemo ward to ensure that my appointment for Friday was still on. I say stupidly because they decide to start me chemo early and save me the trip on Friday. So, I offically started chemo yesterday, totally unexpected. On the plus side, at least it was the chemo drug which doesn't make me too sick.

Watching the budget today, going to see how Mr Brown is going to deal with his last budget. Should be exciting. Somehow I do not think many of you would agree with that statement. Oh, driving around in a Skoda at the moment whilst the Merc is getting its engine fixed. Surprised at how much fun it is to drive. Still waiting for news of my new Golf, the dealership is not sure where the car is. You'd think that they would want to know where there cars are!

Had my regular Starbucks this morning. We were the first customers as we had dropped Alyssa off to nursery. I really do look forward to coffee.

Weight : 10stone
Sickness : 1/10

Happy Days Are Here Again!

Saw the dietition on Thursday. She was fantastic! She understood that most of the supplements will make me sick and therefore said not to bother with them unless they agree with me! This is so different from the other dietitions which would try and force me to drink supplements whether or not I liked them.

Also so my Oncologist who clarified that I will be getting much lower dose Chemotherapy this time around! So hopefully I won't be as sick. He also suggested that I pretent my scars were from a shark bite....sounds pretty good eh?

The dietition also put me on some drugs to settle my stomach and help with my digestion. I think they are starting to work. Went to Pizza Express to celebrate my brother in laws 25 birthday party and I managed to eat two starters. That is quite a lot for me. I have a feeling that if I continue the eating I will put on some weight. Also thinking of mixing up some protein power I used to use when weight training, that should help with my muscle mass which has almost dissappeared. On the plus side I've lost my love handles and any beer belly. May be I'll be able to fit into my old suits.

Shirin's cousin Ali also came for dinner last night. It was the first time that I had met him. A ver cool guy, who happens to work for a company that I used to work for. We had plenty to talk about.

My conversation skills over dinner are improving as I can no longer wolf down my food. I tended to finish my food and then talk afterwards. Now I have to space every mouthfull so I get to talk in between. I suppose it might not be so good for those who happen to have to listen to me!

Anyway, I feel all the more positive today. It's nearly 7am and I feel like having some toast. I've no doubt most of your are nursing a hang over from Friday night down the pub. Enjoy your day...I will


Weight : 10 stonish
Sickness : 1/10

Got to watch my figure

Turns out that I'm losing too much weight. So I have to see the dietition today. Not looking forward to it since they try make me drink these disgusting drinks. Then they'll threaten me with an NG tube (nasel/gastric). They put a tube down my nose to my stomach and pump food directly in to my stomach 24/7. Means I have to walk around looking like an elephant and the tube it self is not very comfortable.

Well I've seen many a dietition and they've not managed to break me yet. I know they're trying to help, but everything they suggest just makes me more sick. In fact I've lost more weight trying their supplements then when I was managing my own diet!

Weight : 9 Stone, 13 lbs
Sickness : 4/10

Not Happy!

Had a pic line put in today. That wasn't a problem. The issue is that they are going to start chemo early. Next Friday to be exact, which gives me just over a week of normal life before I'll feel as sick as a dog. Also, they're going to give me the same doseage and I'm going to have 3 cycles again! When I spoke to the docs last they promised 2 cycles and a much lower dose.

Oh well, I supppose it's all to make me better, but it is going to be soooooo hard this time round as I have to deal with the side effects of my surgery as well.

Weight : 10 stone
Sickness Level : 3/10

Measure me up

Todays the day I go for my CT scan and they measure me for my radiotherapy treatment. Was also ready to cancel last night as I managed to catch a cold in the back of a Renult Megane we were test driving with the hood down. You do not want to be in the back seats with the roof down. It's like being in a wind tunnel.

I've decided to take the train to the hospital since the Merc is going to take a couple of weeks to fix and we won't get our new car for 2 weeks minimum. Thinking of getting a Golf 1.4 TSI with 140 bhp! A nice nippy car.

I'll add to this blog when I get back from the hospital. I've a feeling that they might delay treatment as my stomach wound is not healing very well at the moment.

Free Tattoos on the NHS

Yep, you read that correctly! Okay, there are some down sides. You have to go through 5 weeks of Radiotherapy. The tattoos are used to ensure that they hit the right spots when giving me the radio waves. The Merc died today, head gasket. Going to take at least 1 week to fix, which is a problem as I need to get to London everyday for radiotherapy. Found out that I can get a Free car since I receive Disability Living Allowance (DLA). The car company will take the DLA as payment for the car.

Still wondering what I am going to do for work in about 6 months time. I am hoping that I can get a part time contract role. Please keep an eye out for me.

Thanks all for reading this blog, I know you do as the counter keeps going up! Also, there are some people who are reading this blog in Switzerland, not sure who you are, but you're welcome.

Kids Pizza Party

Just went to Bluewater for a neighbours son's birthday party. He turned 5 years old today. I remember when he first met Alyssa he promised to look after her and beat up anyone who messed with her! He's such a lovely kid. It was ashame that he had a cold today so he didn't really get in to the spirit of his party. His mum had organised a lovely party at Pizza Express where the kids could make their own pizza. I had some dough balls, and the went down perfectly. So another food to add to the list I can eat. Also noticed that they do adult make your own pizza parties in case any of you are interested.

Met up with Rodney whilst at the party and went for a.....yep you guessed it, a Starbucks. I think I might have had too much coffee today though as I had 2 lattes in 2 hours. Managed also to do my yoga today. It was the first time I have tried since the op. I couldn't quite finish all the exercises and I found it much harder than before the op. I think having my stomach in my chest cavity makes it a little harder to breath deeply. On the plus side, no one can punch in the stomach anymore! May be I'll become a street fighter....or may be not.

My massager is going to turn up later today, looking forward to plugging it in and relaxing. In fact I've been doing a lot of relaxing today. First of all there was yoga, then I chilled out and listened to some music and finally I started a new book by Jefferey Archer called False Impression. I've never read any of his books before. The first 20 pages have been amazing and I'm sure the rest of the book will continue at the same pace. I'm not sure what people think of J Archer as an author, I bought it because I was hoping for a well written and slightly more complex novel to read. I had just finished Scared Stone by Clive Cussler, which is an extremely fast paced book, but the detail wasn't there. It was a nice easy read, although a little long. Does anyone have any recommendations for music albums? At the moment I'm listening to Guns and Roses and some mixed RnB. I think I might dig out my old Police albums.

For anyone who is interested, James somebody who does lots of cooking on Ready Steady Cook is signing his book on the 20th at Waterstones in Bluewater.

I've been losing a little weight each week and I really need to turn it around before the Chemo and Radio starts. I've bought my self a blueberry muffin and hoping that it will go down without too many problems. As I may have mentioned before, after my surgery I produce too much insuline, which caused serious food coma after I eat. So I have to down some sugar each time I eat. I 'borrowed' some sugar from Pizza Express and keep it in my pocket for emergencies. I feel like cracking open a bottle of wine, watching a cool movie and listening to music. I haven't had the courage to try alcohol as yet. Who knows how it is going to effect me, I might become even more of a light weight! Or the alcohol might just rush through me and not effect me at all.

Has anyone seen and good offers for laptops? I need to get another one, preferably widescreen with a reasonable battery life. I've yet to see a laptop below the £200 mark. Wonder how long before they get that cheap. The cd drive has died on this laptop so I can't watch my movies on it anymore.


Apologies for waffling on. Hope you managed to get to the end of this. May be I learn a thing or two from Jeffery Archer. I think his average chapter is 4 pages long. Oh, looks like Shirin and Alyssa are feeling a lot better. Fingers crossed they will be well tomorrow.

Flu!

Looks like both Shirin and Alyssa have the flu and have been ill for the last few days. A couple of days ago we had to rush Alyssa to the hospital because her temperature kept hitting 40. Thankfully they're both getting better, although very slowly.

I called my mum over to help whilst everyone was ill. It was her birthday whist she was here but we didn't celebrate as no one was well.

I've started to get some trouble around my stomach wound. The scar has become very sensitive, so much so that even my t-shirt rubbing on it hurts. Tried to put a plaster over the wound but it kept falling off.

Hopefully getting my back massager soon. It is one that you attach to a chair and sit against. Can't wait to get it.

Otherwise, things have been okay. My brother's web development business is starting to really pick up. He is offering 10% of any sale to anyone who brings him business, His website is http://www.dcpweb.co.uk/index.php, try and check it out.

Weight : 9st 13lbs
Sickness Level : 2/10

Hard day yesterday

Yesterday was a hard day in terms of eating. My stomach was just not playing fair at all. Well today I'm going to beat it and stuff my face full of cake!

Just some thoughts.

It's amazing what I used to take for granted. The simple idea of eating everything on the plate in front of me was one I just loved. Now I have to think before I eat, not drink anything at the same time and then wolf down a packet of sugar to stop my blood sugar level going hypo.

I'm still waiting for the revelation that all cancer suffers are supposed to have. You know, the one where they decide to quit their previous way of life and start afresh. I still want to raise money for charity, and once I've over the next round of chemo I'm going to get stuck in and maybe run a few races or something. Can't be that hard if George can manage it!

Oh, speaking of exercise. A 'Friend' of mine left his credit card at the local petrol station and asked if I could go and pick it up. I thought that wouldn't be a problem and I could do with the walk. It was a nice day after all. (I dislike the word 'nice', but too tired to think of an alternative).
Well the walk was exhausting. I was quit surprised that the boy working in the petrol station just gave me the card. After all it wasn't even mine.

So I phone my 'Friend' and tell him that I got the card, only to be told that he's cancelled it anyway! Hum bug! Hence why he is now referred to as a Friend in quotes.

I suppose one thing that had come out of this is that I'm a little more adventurous and hopefully a little more positive in my thinking. I've always considered myself a realist, and those that know me well probably consider me a pessimist. The walk to the petrol station has at least brought some reality back to how I'm recovering. My eagerness to hit a club and drink lots of beer through multiple straws is slowly fading. If I can't walk half a mile, I've got no chance in a night club.

I'm going to try and be more positive through this next round of Chemo and Radio. It is difficult when all the experts around me keep telling me that I'm going to be screwed. Talk about raising someones confidence! The say that the Radio won't hit me until week 4 and will take a further 4 weeks to dissipate. I've no idea how long I'm on Chemo for, but that's something I'm not looking forward to. It's quite a mental challenge knowing that the drugs they are injecting in to me are going to be make me violently sick within 2 hours. I'll try and put a brave face on again and soldier through.

Wow, I've written quite a reasonable amount. Must have had a lot going around my head.

Does anyone know if Guiness is okay if you have an upset stomach? I'm dying for a pint!

Eating: grazed on this and that
Sickness : 3/10

Not a bad day

Tummy decided not play properly today. I've often thought of giving it a couple of punches so it can feel the pain it's giving me. Watched a fantastic film today called 'Keeping Mum'. Not sure if it is anyone elses taste, but I enjoyed it.

I have the cancer group tomorrow. Looking forward to it. I want to give someone a game of chess, anyone up for the challange? Adrian, I still need to get a game back from when we played in Meribel. I think you took my queen after about 5 moves and I never won the piece back.

I've also been challanged by Christina to a game of net tennis on the Wii. I'll have to get my console back off my brother in law.

Eating: Pancake, crisps, ice cream, jacket potato
Sickness Level : 4/10

Just another day

Nothing that exciting happened today. Was quite ill most of the day, my stomach was really playing up. Went to Bluewater as usual and had a nice cup og coffee. The coffee sorted my stomach out. Going to a local friend's place for lunch tomorrow, Alyssa's friends will be there too.

Check out www.hotdealsuk.com for some great bargains on the web!

Eating : pancake, crisps, chips, muffin, cheese and onion pastie (hence upset stomach), cereal, strawberries.
Sickness : 4/10

A long stretch

Went in to hospital today to get my throat stretched. After the operation there are some internal scars which can shrink the diameter of my throat. It got to the point that I was having diffculty swallowing water and therefore becoming dehydrated. Thankfully the operation went with any problems and I can now drink water with ease. On the down side I wasn't allowed to eat anything solid today just in case I damage my throat.

Other then that spent most of the day sleeping as my appointment at hospital was at 8am!

sickness level : 2/10
weight : not sure and too lazy to go and check